Foreplay Feeling Forgettable? 10 Ideas to Shake It Up

Foreplay Feeling Forgettable? 10 Ideas to Shake It Up

Is sex feeling like a race to the finish line? These foreplay ideas will keep things feeling fresh

It’s been a long day: you’ve finished cleaning up after dinner and just want to unwind. Sex would be nice, but do you really have the energy? Then your partner gives you those eyes. You know, the glimmery ones that say, can we please have sex tonight? Maybe you go through the motions without thoroughly enjoying the experience, or you can’t seem to find yourself in the mood. If only something could shake the experience up and make you feel the spark that says: sex now? YES PLEASE. 

If sex is an electrical current, foreplay is the plug needed to keeps things turned on. 

What is foreplay?

Foreplay can be a form of mental or physical stimulation that precedes sex. Foreplay sets the mood and wakes up the genitals to the possibility of sex. With that being said, foreplay doesn’t always have to lead to sex and can be hot in and of itself. 

Why foreplay is important?

Foreplay is the on-ramp to the highway of sex. While some folks might be ready to go at the drop of a hat, most need a bit of warming up. Most people report they would prefer to have more foreplay in their relationship, regardless of their gender. 

Foreplay helps to get you mentally and physically in the mood for sex. After a busy day and with all the responsibilities that come with being an adult, it might take some time to let your day dissolve and become present to pleasure. Sometimes, it takes a few minutes (20 minutes, ideally) to let things heat up. 

Foreplay increases blood flow to the genitals leading to swelling in the clitoris, penis, or labia. Vagnial lubrication is another reason why foreplay is important. Foreplay leads to increased vaginal lubrication, preventing pain during sex and making it so much more enjoyable. Foreplay can also lead to longer sex and stronger orgasms. 

It’s time to talk about foreplay in your relationship

Foreplay is important in your relationship because it can heat up sex and deepen trust. To shake up the foreplay in your relationship or with sexual partners, start by initiating the conversation. You might consider what type of foreplay you are most responsive to. Ask your partner what kinds of things you do that turn them on, or they would like you to try. You might be surprised to know what these things are. Sometimes they are as simple or specific as nibbling on an ear or playing with hair. You can keep a sexy mental or physical list on hand by the bedside about your partner’s favorite turnons and ideas to try. 

Foreplay takes the race out of having sex and amplifies the feeling of being turned on, making sex even hotter. Foreplay can make sex feel new again and can help you break out of sex that feels dull. 

Experiment with these tried and true tips for steamier foreplay and hotter sex.

Slow it down 

Treat foreplay like it’s an intimate time to connect with your partner with no pre-conceived ideas to have sex. This takes the expectations (i.e., pressure) out of having sex and ensures that you’re in the moment, not running the race to climax. 

Focus on kissing, stroking, and touching. There’s nothing better to unwind than a massage, so make sure to have some lotion nearby. 

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  • Touch each other over clothes
  • Dry humping is a severely underrated activity and form of foreplay. It’s hot to rub up against your partner before you remove clothes. Focus on how your partner’s body feels, and don’t hesitate to tug on clothes, hair, or underwear for an added turn-on. 

  • Run lips over erogenous zones
  • When couples get comfortable with one another, they can skip over erogenous zones because they know how to make each other orgasm quickly. While knowing someone’s body and what makes them tick is terrific, don’t skip over areas that can add to your partner’s turn-on, such as: ears, lips, breasts, nipples, neck, thighs, stomach, and buttocks.

  • Play a game
  • Strip checkers, anyone? There’s nothing like slowly removing clothes to set the mood. Sexy truth or dare is another way to find out hot secrets or ask for what would be a turn-on to you. I.e., I dare you to go put on that sexy thing I love. 

  • Talk dirty
  • Talking dirty might scare some people because it’s on the spot. If you’re new to the art, stick to the basics. Tell your partner what’s so hot about them to you. You can mention how you love when they...Or say what you imagine they feel like and how good it would feel to have them. 


    If the sex feels played, act like strangers and roleplay you’ve just met. Try out any other forms of roleplay that are and patient, massage therapist. If you’re new to roleplaying you might feel silly at first, and that’s okay. 

    Sensory play 

    Blindfold your partner and let them feel the sensations of your kisses and touch. You can also experiment with brushing a feather against their skin, or dripping an ice cube down their chest and licking it off. 

  • Sexts
  • Sexting is an excellent option for when you and your partner have been away from each other all day or to start experiencing arousal when you’re in a different room. It also indicates (quite obviously) that you want them. You can sext what you’re wearing, what you wish you could touch or taste on their body, or what you sometimes fantasize about.    

  • Don’t allow each other to touch
  • See how long one or both of you can make it without touching each other. This might mean kissing until someone breaks the rule and then having them face the consequences (i.e., the sexy thing you want to do.)

  • Aphrodisiacs 
  • Aphrodisiacs are foods that put you in the mood. Try feeding your partner strawberries or chocolate in bed, with plenty of kisses in between. There are also flavored lubes that you can lick off your partner, and if your fridge isn’t stocked, you can try flavored condoms to continue the indulgence during sex. 

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