Did you know that meditation boosts our sex life?
Whether you are moving away from the present moment, or your mind is wandering during foreplay or sex, it’s something you can fix. You can wander off when searching for a condom in your drawer, but we’re talking about something else. Naturally, our imagination can roam free while having sex but if you completely lose awareness of what is going on in your body, it’s time to act immediately. Here’s how meditation can boost your sex life.
A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that women who meditate have a better sex life than those who do not meditate. 451 women between the ages of 19 and 70 participated in the study.
Respondents answered many questions; such as about their habits, lifestyle, and sex. The results showed that women who meditate feel better about their bodies, respond better to stimuli and have stronger or more frequent orgasms as well as greater sexual desire.
On the other hand, meditation also affects men and is recommended for the same purposes - better mental and physical health, but also better sex.
Meditation and the Brain
The first thing that comes to mind when you mention the word “meditation” is probably a calm monk sitting in a lotus position. You never associate it with the functioning of your brain. However, meditation and awareness can enhance the way your brain works. Being aware means being present at the moment. At a most basic level, practicing meditation will help you relieve tons of stress that's been accumulating in your body.
Moreover, the power of meditation also helps you be more focused on the things that happen in a relationship. It also means that you have a better chance of being empathetic, calm, and able to listen to your partner. When we really engage in a conversation and listen to each other with dedication - and when we don’t wander off so easily - sex also gets better. Here ate the steps to improve your sex life with the power of your mind.
Learn How to Turn off the Autopilot
When we drive a car, we don’t think about everything we do with our hands or feet. We do this automatically without paying attention to what is going on. The same thing can happen in the bedroom, especially if we are in a long-term relationship. If we are on autopilot, we don't focus on the now, we are not actually present.
On the contrary, we indulge in old habits and rely on learned reactions. If it happens during sex, then the autopilot kills our passion. The easiest way to become more aware is to pay attention to breathing in everyday life. When you notice each breath, you suddenly become much more aware. As we learn to live in the moment, it will be easier to apply it to sex. Start by sitting in a quiet place and focus on what is happening as you breathe. Focusing on your breath regularly will allow you to become more aware of the general feeling in your body. With a little practice, you will be able to focus on the physical wherever you are - in line at the cash register, waiting for the water to boil, or in bed with your partner.
Have an Anchor During Sex
Don’t panic - we don’t suggest anything weird that involves kinky stuff but an exercise for the mind. When our minds are full of everything, we live too much in our heads and too little in our bodies. For good sex, we have to focus as much on the body as possible. Next time you have sex, think about whether your thoughts have gone astray. Ask yourself how you felt on the physical level when you were meditating. Make that feeling a sort of an anchor to which you will return. Next time you wander off, focus on that anchor again to get back to the physical part of yourself.
Forget About the Orgasm
Believe it or not, expecting an orgasm can ruin the act of sex; Either we worry about having it, or we turn on the autopilot because we don’t know exactly how to achieve it. Thoughts easily wander off, and the next thing you know; you lose awareness of what's going on.
Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson have invented a technique called “sensate focus” in which a partner and you alternately feel and explore each other’s body in a non-sexual way. You forget about orgasm but instead think about a physical experience. No sex, just discovering what touch feels like. Instead of thinking about what pleases your partner or worrying about what he does to you, you have to focus on the actual physical sensations, notice the texture or temperature of their skin, or what it feels like to have your fingers crossed over the back of your thighs.
Sensate focus works in specific phases, so you will slowly build a set of intimate touches to have sex eventually. But even then, orgasm is not the goal; the most important thing is to achieve heightened sensory pleasure throughout the experience. Sex therapists often use this technique to treat men who suffer from impotence or women who have never had an orgasm because it gives us insight into why sex is much more than reaching our goal.
Remember to Breathe
Controlled breathing is key to successful meditation when practiced alone, but breathing exercises with your partner can improve your love life as well. Sit opposite your partner and look into each other’s eyes. Place your right hand in the middle of your chest to feel the heartbeat and let him or her do the same to you. Cover his or her right arm with your left, then slowly begin to align your breathing with your partner's. After some time, you'll be able to inhale and exhale at the same time. Moreover, you'll also be able to do this during sex. Being mindful about your breathing will let you look at your frustrations, figure out where they come from, and find a solution.
Exercise to Perfection
Even if you think you are too stressed to practice meditation, do not give up as it lowers your cortisol levels in the body. It’s easy to think we don’t have time, but it’s essential - science has shown that even ten minutes of meditation a day is enough for complete relaxation. If you exercise in situations where you don't need to, such as quiet moments during the day, it will become more available at times when you actually need it. You become more emotionally capable of focusing on the present, which allows you to be present at any given moment, both mentally and physically.
Do You Practice Meditation?
If you are more in tune with your body, you are more aware of what is going on. Meditation can, therefore, help us to experience all these fantastic new feelings during sex that you never knew existed.