How to move your sex life from lockdown to living after a sex fast
What is sex fasting?
When you think of fasting, you might typically think of fasting from food for a brief amount of time. You might conjure images of hunger, cravings, headaches, or the reset that ensues after the fast. Fasting can be a short or long period of restriction, a detox, cleanse, or meditation. People fast for religious and health-related reasons. Much like food fasting, sex fasting involves the restriction of pleasure for some sort of benefit, whether that involves a deeper connection to self or rejuvenation from the cleansing effects. The difference between the two? Over the pandemic, many of us have been on an unintentional sex fast!
How has the pandemic affected our sex lives?
There’s no denying that the pandemic has affected our relationships and sex lives, but how so? Some people have experienced a complete loss of interest in sex due to stress and no breaks from their partners, kids, or work lives. Stress from the pandemic has carried over to libido, making sex seem not all that appetizing to some.
Others have taken the pandemic lockdown measures into their own hands, quite literally. Sex-tech industries have hit instrumental numbers this pandemic, as many people have flocked to buy sex toys online. The owner of sex toy companies We-Vibe and Womanizer reported an increase of 200% in online sales since the prior year.
Further, sex therapists have focused on the strange sexual trends brought on by the pandemic and have named certain behaviors that wouldn’t usually occur without lockdown and social distancing measures as “situational sexual behavior.”
Popular dating website Match reported that 71% of singles have not had any sex since the start of the pandemic. Others have taken to having sex with a roommate who they typically wouldn’t choose to engage with without the strange and unprecedented circumstance of a pandemic.
It’s safe to say that the pandemic has caused a colorful and wide variety of responses in people’s sex lives. Whether you have been getting your freak on this pandemic or not, sex fasting can heighten sensation for when you do, finally, get back into the game.
What are the benefits of sex fasting?
Why in the world would you choose to give up the pleasure that comes from sex? You might look at this like this. Have you ever gone without sugar for a few weeks? When you return to tasting something sweet again, you might notice it’s exceptionally sweet, whereas you wouldn’t have noticed just how intense the taste is before your break from it. Much like this, sex fasting allows you to pay attention to the sensations you’ve become desensitized to.
Sex fasting can offer changes in sexual responses and may even increase desire. Sex fasting can strengthen relationships between partners, too, by allowing each partner to step back and increase their awareness around sex.
This brief period of restriction allows you to recalibrate and change routine sex from monotonous to momentous. The restriction affords perspective and time to consider your truest wants and desires, and you get to decide which parts of your sex life you want to continue upkeeping, and which parts you’re ready to shift or try something new. Many people can’t find the time or space to redefine what sex means or what they want it to look like when they don’t take a step back. Simply put? Things feel different when you’ve taken a break and had time to gain a new perspective.
The benefits of sex fasting can also extend to dating. This period of abstinence allows you to understand patterns and dynamics with others and the perspective as to if you might want to shift some of these patterns. Sex fasting can lead to more intentional relationships and a clearer picture of sexual desires, and how to identify your needs and advocate for them.
Also? Sex fasting may strengthen your orgasms.
How does sex fasting strengthen orgasms?
Orgasms offer myriad emotional and physical benefits like increased immunity, better sleep, brain health, and improved mental health. Because sex fasting offers new awareness and perspective as to the sensation involved in sex, you might find that after a sex fast, your orgasms are stronger and more intense.
Awareness of a sensation also extends to heightened attention around the four stages of arousal: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Understanding which stage you are in can allow for experimentation with edging or orgasm control. This involves stopping stimulation before orgasming, which can lead to longer performance and more explosive orgasms. Edging can help with sexual dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, and improved orgasms.
If the benefits from a sex fast sound appealing, try one! This could mean selecting a set amount of time like weeks, or even 90 days, to intentionally refrain from having sex.
If you haven’t been sexually active for the majority of the pandemic and have been unknowingly on a sex fast, you might experience some pretty mindblowing sensations when you finally choose to have sex again.
You might try a sex fast purposefully for the myriad meditative benefits like increased awareness of your sexual dynamics, more intentionality, new or previously unnoticed sensations, stronger relationships, and more intense orgasms.